Since there was no “looky here at all these WMDs” celebration in the aftermath of “Mission Accomplished,” President GWB distracted America two years ago in his State of the Union address by claiming proudly: “Americans are addicted to oil.” Of course when Bush said it with his Texarkanabunkport drawl, it sounded like he was saying that “Americans are addicted to Earl,” so I thought he was talking about a character in a popular sitcom, but I digress . . . .
While I hate to admit it, Bush was right (well, he is way right, but I mean correct in this instance) regarding Americans and oil. Actually, it’s not addiction, it is resistance to change. And it’s not Americans who are addicted to oil and who are resistant to change, it is the American auto-petroleum industry.
To think that American ingenuity cannot devise an alternative fuel solution that offers something more than a decades-long twelve-step program to break our fossil fuel addiction is preposterous. Our current energy predicament, which is the unfortunate result of the auto-petroleum industry’s irrational fear and excessive greed, can be remedied with man’s basest, most fundamental instinct: competition. Yes, a contest. We'll even televise it. Make it a series. It would be the mother of all reality shows, a combination of The Great Race, Intervention, Fear Factor, Survivor, the Apprentice, and American Inventor all in one. Just for kicks and giggles, let's add “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” in the mix for good measure.
My solution is simple. And if Oprah, Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren Buffet, the Google dudes and their Yahoo! neighbors want to make a difference in the world, then it’s time for them to pony up. Yes, ante up and kick in, folks, because the stakes are high. What I propose is that the nation’s richest men and women shell out $50,000,000,000 (yes, that’s 50 Billion with a B) and challenge America’s best and brightest to come up with a renewable, clean-burning, efficient energy source . . . and the machines that use it. What is needed is an entirely new and innovative energy-mechanical system, one that has the lasting power to power the growing world. We can call the contest: The Great American Energy Challenge.
Whether the contestants of The Great American Energy Challenge are individuals, corporations, or a couple of shade-tree mechanics matters not. And it doesn’t matter if the fuel source is green grass, grain alcohol, or goose crap . . . as long as it burns and makes my Ford run.
Only when America extracts itself from the perpetual quagmire that is the Middle East will we be free. And an addict’s first step is to admit he is powerless over his addiction. We are not addicted. We are not powerless. We are power. And a power system solution is what we need. Are you up for the challenge? Insanely rich people of America, are you ready to put your money where your philanthropy is? It’s time. Put that on your booklist, Oprah!
