The Hiker's Guide to History - Joel McMahon's Blog

The Greenest Generation

Last week during Christmas dinner with my family, my father, who will be 75 next year, asked the following of all of us gathered around the table:  What have you done to be green in 2008 and what will you do to be greener next year?  Here a man born during the Great Depression was asking a question normally asked by the younger generation of the older. I was a bit taken aback by the fact that becoming greener has become so commonplace so as to transcend generations.  Perhaps Tom Brokaw’s “Greatest Generation” was actually the “Greenest Generation.”

All of us gathered around the table took our turn to say how green we had become and how much greener we were going to be.  We rattled off the usual suspects: Fewer flushes, fewer paper products, less laundry, carpool, turn off lights, eat less, consume less, reduce, reuse, recycle, yadda, yadda, yadda.  The conversation progressed toward a discussion of my parents’ childhood experiences on their Nebraska farms during the Depression.  During a time of intense scarcity and unimaginable uncertainty, the simplicity of life on the farm was, out of necessity, green.  Farm families during the Depression used and reused everything.  The old saying when butchering a hog was to use everything but the squeal, and that saying could be applied to any commodity, staple, or item used or consumed on a family farm.

Perhaps in our current time of anxiety, fear, perceived scarcity and economic turmoil, we should take a lesson from our parents and grandparents on how to be green.  Sensible consumption for older generations wasn’t called green, it was called life.  I shake my head in disgust at the amount of waste I have produced in my lifetime, waste in the form of discarded product packaging, paper products, and even food.  I took for granted my abundance and strayed from my simple roots.

Though it is tempting to march under a green banner in 2009, I think it would be more effective to lead a simpler life, one of abundant meaning and not of abundant material possessions . . . just as our Depression-era parents did.  Architects use the term “simple footprint” to describe a home or building that minimizes the foundational space required to complete their design.  A simple footprint takes less space and forces the designer to be creative with the space allowed.  And hikers who are purists have as their mantra, “leave no trace” when they enter the woods for their athletic dose of nature.  Hikers leave no sign of their presence in the woods: no trash, no stray footprints, no noise.  Both mantras serve as apt metaphors for living in our new reality.

As I plan construction on a new year and plot my trail for 2009, I will try my best to live within my simple footprint and leave no trace.  In living a simpler life, I hope to become greener by default . . . and use everything but the squeal.

The Milestone Workout

My wife and I just returned home from a Caribbean cruise, a little warm winter break before Christmas.  The problem with the hap, happiest time of the year is massive consumption of the fat, fattiest food of the year, and nowhere is the massive consumption of food more evident than on a cruise.  Though the scenery was great, the weather was beautiful, and we had a blast, the problem with cruises, especially on the days at sea, is that the only thing you do is kill time between meals.  

Normally, my cardio workouts consist of long hikes or short runs, but there aren't too many hiking trails on ships, and running can be dangerous on an ocean liner when the wheelchair-per-passenger ratio is higher than George Bush's approval rating.  Besides, being confined to a ship, it is awfully tempting to do these three things to excess: eat, drink, and eat.  Somehow, Michele and I managed to workout twice each day and keep the inevitable weight gain to a minimum, but it wasn’t easy!  I think I ate my weight in smoked salmon and sushi!! 

In trying to keep the calories-out higher than the calories-in, I have devised a new workout, a workout perfect for winter, which is upon us beginning today, when the days are short and the temperature is low.  I call my workout the “Milestone Workout,” and it works like this:

When on a treadmill, elliptical trainer, stair climber, rowing machine, or any cardio machine with the typical features of timer, calorie counter, and distance, we often set our time goal first.  As we workout on a cardio machine, we always keep track of our time, no doubt, but we should keep track of distance and calories to make sure that our intensity is high enough to match the time spent and distance traveled.  In other words, you keep track of your milestones:  Time, Distance, and Calories. 

Here is how to work all three milestones so that you push yourself to the next level, literally and figuratively.

1. Jump on a cardio machine and set your time goal of, say, 45 minutes.
   

2. Once you reach your goal (milestone) of 45 minutes, see what your calorie count is.  Let’s say your calorie count is 325 calories.  At this point, push yourself to reach the next “milestone” of 350 calories (or 400 if you feel like a manly man!)
   

3. Once you reach your second goal (milestone) of 400 calories, check your distance covered.  Let’s say you have covered 2.75 miles. At this point, push yourself to the next “milestone” of 3 miles.
   

This very simple workout forces your mind to push your body to the next milestone, and allows you to push your workout to the next level. 

Let me know how it works.  And good luck!

BCS and the Blitzkrieg

A friend forwarded this to me after my recent railing on the BCS.  Enjoy!

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

According to the BCS, "Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark,Belgium and the Netherlands" stated Goober Von Nuesbaum, chief architect of the BCS computer software. "Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule and significant margin of victories in most battles--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #2 ranking of the United States the BCS stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event. So even though the US came back from way down to beat Germany and used a couple of last minute long bombs to beat Japan, those issues aren't factoredin."

German spokesperson Bobbi Shtuppesengrubber said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 France on the road in only 6 weeks. It took the US several years to beat us." Germany was criticized by many for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhanceGermany's rankings, using their first team Stormtroopers all the way into the final minutes of several lopsided battles with their "Blitzkrieg"offensive scheme.

Playoff Not Payoff

My family loves football.  This time of year is especially fun for us because of the collegiate rivalries that exist between and among my brothers and sisters.  For example, I am a proud Georgia Tech graduate.  My brother, sister, and sisters-in-law are all University of Georgia alum.  My other brother played football at the University of Nebraska.  And to top it all off, my nephew is currently the starting center for Florida State University.  Georgia Tech. Nebraska. UGA. FSU. How 'bout that for sibling rivalry?

Though Georgia Tech has had an outstanding year on the football field, I am proud to say that Georgia Tech emphasizes academics over athletics.  Though clearly Tech rises head and shoulders above those lesser institutions in the field of academics, on the football field we are not as big, we are not as fast, and we don't pay our players as much as the alma maters of my siblings.  We are just happy to put eleven men on the field.  Talk about good old fashioned hate!!

On any given Saturday, my family could not engage in a harmonious conversation if we tried, but on one issue related to college football we agree: A college football playoff. Both Georgia Tech (9-3) and FSU (7-5) were snubbed by the Gator Bowl, which chose Clemson (1-17) to play Nebraska (6-4).  The Gator Bowl is a January bowl...and both Georgia Tech and FSU are thrown to the bowl obscurity pile and are left to play December bowls. The reason: the Gator Bowl felt that Clemson would bring more fans (a.k.a. rednecks with a little extra money and a whole lot of time) to Jacksonville to spend more money.   Georgia Tech, who could beat Clemson every day of the week and twice on Sunday, will go across the street to play the Chick-fil-A Bowl in Atlanta.  Granted, the Chick-fil-A Bowl is technically a higher rated bowl than the Gator, January 1st bowls carry a lot more prestige.  FSU will play in the Sponge Bob Square Pants Bowl in Peoria, Ill. 

Some say that there is no rhyme or reason in selecting bowl participants.  I disagree. There is a reason, and it rhymes with funny: money!  A true national champion battles worthy foes, overcomes mistakes and challenges, rises to the occasion, and bests its adversary on the playing field, not on a balance sheet.  A college football playoff system is long overdue.  An unfair advantage is given to richer schools, and players, fans, and families suffer because the deck is stacked, the game is rigged, and the field of play is slanted toward programs with piles of powerful dollars.  It's all about the payoff. It's time for a change.

Another advantage to a playoff system would be end of the ridiculous corporate bowl names.  Who gives a rat's behind about the corporate giants that appropriated football and stole the purity and dignity of our bowls?  Does it disgust anyone besides me that college football's crowning moments each year don titles such as the Nokia Citrus Bowl, the Enron Ethics Bowl, the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Carquest Bowl, the Chick-fil-A Bowl?  It's ridiculous.  It's time for a change.

Even Barack O'Bama supports a college football playoff.  Imagine that.

Finding a Bottom in the Market . . . and In Our Madness

Usually when the stock market drops, most people feel somewhat secure because their home values remain buoyant. And usually when home values stagnate or drop, the stock market rises. If one asset is down, the other usually holds, and this creates a feeling of confidence and security.

However, today’s “new economy” creates a perfect storm with falling home values, a plunging stock market, and, to add insult to injury, real threats to the dual income paradigm upon which our culture has become so dependent. Job losses and layoffs are reaching the highest levels in decades, and the impact on American families is much greater than any uptick in a statistic can reveal. People are anxious. People are afraid. People are desperate. Yes, these are desperate times. But have we found a bottom?

Oddly symptomatic of the desperation of a struggling nation that is having a hard time breaking its spending habits is Black Friday’s trampling death of a WalMart greeter as he opened the doors to the throng of crazed bargain shoppers as they rushed to buy . . . whatever WalMart shoppers buy at 6:00 am. This man’s death is so wrong on so many levels. First, that anyone would stand in line to get into WalMart is insane. Second, that anyone would rush into a WalMart once the doors were open is a diagnosable malady, I’m sure. Third, that a man would be trampled and killed is more than just a sad commentary on the people who actually pushed, stepped on and stepped over another human being; it is mob mentality reflective of a nation pushed to the brink by fear.

FDR famously said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, but what I fear most is the irrational responses to fear. This nation has been gripped by fear over the last eight years because of 9/11 and the wars of retribution waged in its wake. This nation has been gripped by fear because of the economic uncertainty that is, for some, death by a thousand cuts . . . a thousand points at a time.

This nation is gripped by fear because our trust in government is at Watergate levels, and our faith in the ever-efficient wheels of capitalism is tarnished and torn. No, we have more to fear than fear itself. We have ourselves to fear.

When we trample men to death to save a buck, I think that then we have reached bottom.